It's Friday. Sex?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
