Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
