Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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