Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize