her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
