She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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