East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
