we have officially lost it.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Your topless pictures make me question reality
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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