if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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