thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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