like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
