Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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