aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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