Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
