He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
