Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
