You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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