Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
