At least make sure they are 18
Why
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
