I hate your face
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize