i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
