thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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