and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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