Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
