failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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