You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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