a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
