Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
