I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
