She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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