That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
