Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
