dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
