so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
