Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Bring me that man meat
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
