she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
