I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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