I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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