Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
