Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
