Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Girls should come with a carfax report
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
