i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
PANTIES FOUND
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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