Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
