I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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