So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
