Rock
Scissors
Fuck
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My balls are so social today.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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