No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
