I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
