Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
