u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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