They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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