Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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