did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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