last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
