My friends, they love my intelligence
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
