called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
