Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
