Already got asked if we're dating
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
