I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
