i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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