You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
