Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
