Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
