I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
