Buhtt sex?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
