Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
