Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My life is pants optional.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
