im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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