If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im holly from the hills drunk
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
