I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
