i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
