hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
