Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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