I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i need some magic done to my vagina
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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