Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
